How to Live a Life You Love

Stop waiting for life to be perfect and start loving it as it is right now.

I’ve learned a lot about love and loss in the last two years. It’s a hard lesson to learn when you only realize how much you love someone, or how lucky you truly were, only once you’ve lost something. Unfortunately, it just seems like that’s the way of the world, we take things for granted. The grass is always greener. We always seem to want what we can’t have. With the holidays upon us, it often brings about a time of reflection, love, blessings, and a general sense of merriment. But why are we only thankful once a year or maybe a couple months around the holidays? I think it’s time to stop living life waiting for things to be perfect and start living and loving life right as it is at this very moment in time. Here’s how to be more thankful every day.

Stop Trying to Keep up with the Joneses.

In a world taken over by Facebook, it is easy to look at our own lives and feel like our own life is not as happy, successful, productive, or insert adjective/feeling here. Do you ever feel like this? Like you’ve been missing out on life because you aren’t far enough along with your career, family, or any other goals. Trust me, so do I. But I’ll let you in on a little secret, social media is sometimes a facade. No one, other than me (and some other divorce bloggers) post about the hard times, the shit times, the grief times, or the tears.

It is very easy to take a picture of the best moments in our lives and leave the shitty stuff out. Any couple can look happy for 30 seconds in a selfie. Every mom can look like she’s got it all together when she crops the dirty dishes and piles of laundry out of the adorable baby photo. Your super successful FB friend posts the elite exec life and the excitement of her work travel but doesn’t show you the lack of social life, sleep, and stress tears she puts in getting the job done. Your married friends that have the perfect family/house/life, one of them is having an affair. Don’t believe everything you see or read. It’s not always a true reflection of real life.

Fuck Time.

Or Rather Fuck the Concept That You Need to Do Life on Someone Else’s Timeline.

The last two years I’ve been obsessed with the concept of time. I feel like I’m so far behind, still grieving, losing bf after bf, all while The X, the cheater, TNT, and Beast Mode happily move on. The X has been with my replacement now for over a year and will probably be re-married by the time I get someone to date me. All my friends are having babies and getting married or rather happily married for years. So fucking what? You can have anything and everything you want in life. Create the life you love. It is never too late. Adopt. Start that business you’ve been dreaming of. Take that trip. Apply for that promotion. Buy the house. There is always time if you make time for it. And don’t forget to post it all over social media to make all those bitches jealous. 😉

Replace Envy With Gratitude For What You Do Have and Adopt an Attitude of Abundance.

I’m so guilty of this…, especially as a new blogger. Well, I’m no longer that new but still figuring this shit out. I love it. I really do. Writing is my catharsis and my mission to spread real talk about real relationships rather than fluff bullshit fires me up every time I sit down at the computer to write. But then a voice in my head tells me I will never be good enough. I start looking at all the people doing better than me, the ones further along than me, more followers, better pictures, cooler outfits, and I just want to give up and leave it to the experts. But the truth is that all have a lot of great qualities that others envy in us. We just don’t always see them in ourselves.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

They are on their path and you are on yours. They may be at a different point in life, i.e. blogging for longer, working their dream job for years, and you can’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. I remind myself that there is enough success for everyone and that if I work hard I can have success too. Celebrate your friend’s new job or baby or boyfriend and remind yourself that you will have that (if that’s what you want) at some point too. Someone else’s success or joys doesn’t mean that you will never have any of your own. So celebrate with them now and celebrate you later. Joy and Gratitude are always better when shared.

Stop Listening to Everyone’s Doubts, Criticism, Thoughts, Feelings About Your Life.

Sometimes even though people love us, they don’t always give the best advice. Maybe they are just worried that you will sink all your finances into your dream business and fail. Maybe you will. But what if you don’t? Let’s face it maybe they have no other motive then jealousy and don’t want you to succeed. Everyone’s got an opinion and we don’t always need to hear it. I know some of my best friends and family don’t read my writing. They hate taking photos of me and listening to me talking about my blog. My sister actually said recently that one of my favorite bloggers is doing so well because she’s skinnier than me. Awesome thanks. I’ll start my eating disorder now.

Surround Yourself with Positive People.

Sometimes people mean well and they just don’t know how to show it other than being offensive. Sometimes they don’t understand your dreams and goals. Guess what else? They don’t have to! You do you and let them do them. SHut out the negativity. Don’t talk about it with the negative nancies and the Debbie Downers. Some of my friends love my blog. They love my writing, they read it, and they support me. They share it with others and are proud of me. I don’t need to talk about it and share it with everyone. If someone isn’t happy for you or being positive about your dreams or goals, don’t share it with them. There are plenty of people out there willing to support you and cheer you on!

Keep Moving Forward.

Build a Little Every Day Toward Living a Life You Love.

Bottom line, it’s not always easy to shut out the negative and press forward. But that is all you can do. A little progress is still progress. Wake up every day and commit to doing at least one thing that moves you toward the life you want. It’s not always easy to be thankful for what we have. It’s much easier to take things for granted. It’s easier to just want more. We always seem to want what we don’t have. Sometimes I am ANYTHING but thankful. I don’t feel blessed while I sleep alone. I don’t feel thankful when I find myself caught up in grief again that I thought had finally passed. But rather than dwell on those feelings and feel sorry for myself, I redirect my attention toward doing something that builds that life I want instead. For me, it could be something as simple as a home project I want to do, a change I want to make on the website, a plant I want for the garden.

It’s easy to lose track of what we have while we work toward what we want. I do believe that most of us have more blessings than we realize. I also believe that we should be more thankful year round then just around the holidays. It’s an everyday commitment to feel grateful. Start a gratitude log in your journal. Write down something every day that you are grateful for. I write down 5 per week. Work toward adopting an abundance mindset rather than a lack thereof. Commit every day to be more thankful.

#thankfulgratefulblessed

XOXO – J

What do you have to be thankful for today?